impromptu confessional upchuck

Hmm…

What to write, what to write…

Typically these start out as intense emotional outbursts. Or rather, from me preventing myself from having them. I feel something big; it’s close to a feeling of boiling over. So I just have to get it out. Making it easy to write at lengths. I’m much lighter after.  

Today I’m indifferent to things. I’ve needed some alone time and now that I have it, I’m zen-ish.

I guess I have to try harder because it’s important that I continue to write even when my mood isn’t shit. When mood is shit, I’m inspired. I’d like that to be the case when I’m stellar. 

I’ve decided to recount all that’s happened today to get the juices flowing:

I woke at around 9:56 this morning a little sweaty. It’s freezing when the heater is off and stifling when it’s on—I can’t seem to find a happy medium. 

I looked outside to find snow falling in thick flurries; nothing visible other than what was about 50 feet in front of me. 

When you’re warm inside, (overly warm in my case) snow is gorgeous. It’s so quiet and pure. 

When you’re in the thick of it, it’s much more violent. It reminds you quickly that it is indeed, a force of nature. It’s humbling. 

I was reminded today when I decided to leave to work early—hours before my shift so that I’d actually make it in tonight. Last night I opted out of driving in a blizzard. 

Anyway…just as I’d finished sweeping inches of powder off the car, I get inside to realize backing up was impossible. I couldn’t get any traction. I was helpless, sitting there defeated. 

Luckily, a neighbor took out his garbage just then and saw me struggling. He offered to help push me out, I was thoroughly embarrassed. I’m sure my face was the shade of beets because I had absolutely no idea what I was doing as he pushed and I floored the gas pedal, most likely jimmying the steering wheel in the wrong directions. 

He got me out and I said thanks and that was that. The goodness of people surprises me still. I like that. 

I drove to my preferred coffee shop and stepped in a huge puddle that I assumed had no real depth upon first glance. 

Nature humbles me again before allowing me to plow forward. 

-s.